After Sleeping On It

Recognizing Where I Have Become Spiritually Jaded







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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

Thoughts on resentment of life

Yesterday, I was pondering where I may have become spiritually jaded. I lay awake last night for some time, searching my heart. I also woke in the middle of the morning, and searched more. I began to see a glimmer in the distance, of the light of personal awareness.

I become spiritually jaded every time I think I know what’s best for someone and resent them making what look like destructive choices. No where is this more evident than with my closest family members. When I have lost the innocence of ultimate trust that each soul knows what it is doing at a soul level, I have become spiritually jaded.

When I realized I co-create my reality moment-to-moment, it became difficult to be patient with those who did not yet have this awareness. For a long time, it was excruciatingly difficult to watch people I loved unconsciously using their thoughts, emotions and actions toward creating chaos and pain. I somehow forgot that I had done exactly the same thing they were doing, for most of my life.

If I practice what I preach, each being is a sovereign soul. Each being on this earth with me is working out their own salvation and is doing exactly what they need to be doing, to fulfill whatever their consciousness needs to experience. I may not understand why they have holes to fall in or traps of thinking to get caught in but it also isn’t up to me to judge it or try to change it. I can offer awareness and presence.

Just because I can see down the path and see what is coming for someone based on how they might be working with reality through thoughts, emotions and actions, that doesn’t mean I have any right to interfere and it most certainly doesn’t mean I have any right to resent that they don’t listen to my guidance … especially if they don’t even ask for my input, ha.

I’m jaded when I forget that, regardless of whatever path of suffering or chaos a person creates, they are Master of their Soul and they remain Divine Beings of Light that are making their way home to the truth of themselves. I fell in holes, I got trapped in my own limited thinking too. I still do, at varying levels and as awareness spirals onward. Judge not, that ye be not judged.

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