Except for any noted source material, content copyright, Neva. J. Howell, all rights reserved
If there is one tenet of spiritual reality I’ve heard expressed over and over, in various ways, it is that there are really only two states of being: Love and Fear.
Anyone on the metaphysical spiritual path for very long has heard the phrase “what you fear, you draw to you” or “what you dwell on, increases” or some other version of that truth.
One of my strongest spiritual tests around that knowing came when a friend of mine told me a story, a scary story about her personal experience with an entity known as the eater of souls.
To me, this entity sounded a lot like the Christian entity, Satan. Having already dealt with the Satan thoughtform from my Christian upbringing, I immediately recoiled from the story, thinking Oh, no, not another Satan!
I remember having a jolt of fear run through me as I heard about this dark entity that could come into a space and steal someones soul. Then, I unconsciously shut that reaction down and consciously forgot about it.
After my return home from a seriously challenging spiritual ceremony, and while I was receiving some energy work to help me integrate the effects of that ceremony, I became aware of an intense and clammy chill in my body. At the same time, I noticed a dark gray gel-like substance was beginning to seep (for lack of a better word) into my auric field.
As the grayness saturated my etheric body, I felt a return of the same jolt of fear I had experienced when listening to the story about the soul-eating demon. I knew, with unspeakable clarity, what I was seeing. I knew I had called it, and I knew the experience of it could not be avoided. I further knew that how I handled the next span of time might literally mean the difference between life and death.
The healing facilitator working with me also experienced the shift in energies and the presence of this thoughtform entity, though I could not speak at the time and share what I was seeing with her while it was happening. She later said she felt as if I had disappeared.
Together, we instinctively worked to stay in a space of love and trust. We both knew we could not allow the fear to dominate. We recognized that fear was what made this thoughtform strong. If we had allowed ourselves to go into fear, that fear would have energized the negative polarity.
As I watched the gray come closer and closer to my physical form and understood that this horrid clammy coldness would soon seep into my very cells — down into my internal organs — staying out of fear became more difficult.
The clammy cold became suffocating as death, and I knew it would not stop there.
When this eater of the soul energy actually made contact with my physical body, I knew with utter certainty that it would devour me. There was no way out and no way to stop it.
Oddly enough, it was at this point that I reached full acceptance and decided I would not struggle or resist. It felt as if my entire insides were dissolved and that I became an empty shell.
I understood a great, great truth at that moment.
It had to do with how fear attaches to the cells, allowing negativity to get at the physical body.
By allowing the essence of my fear to find all the fear inside me and claim it, the result was exactly opposite to the fear and negativity. After the eating of my soul had finished, inside the empty shell that I had become, there was only whiteness. A brilliant whiteness. That was all.
I realized that the brilliance I was looking at was the same energy as the gray gel that first came in. It was my own fear that had made it look and feel different to me.
I clearly understood that, in order to get past our own fear, we have to own it. I created that experience, with the jolt of fear I allowed to run through me and then denied, at the time when I heard the story. Therefore, I had to face it, integrate it, and own it. Otherwise, it would own me.
The power to own is the power of any Satan.
There is much I cannot say about this experience. If you are willing to know the truth of it, it will be transmitted another way.