Pitching a Hissy Fit
Resisting Reality Makes Monsters Appear
Except for any noted source material, content copyright, Neva. J. Howell, all rights reserved
In the Spirit of full disclosure…..
Just because I’m a wellness counselor and spiritual
healing facilitator (and adept in my ability to assist others)
doesn’t mean I don’t lose it, take inappropriate actions and
generally act like a fool. I do. I did yesterday. In fact,
I pitched the biggest hissy fit you can imagine yesterday.
I guess I could justify it by explaining how much time I had already
spent on the phone, tracking down a package from fed-ex and
how frustrated I allowed myself to become over their voicemail
system which repeatedly said “I’m sorry. I did not understand
your request”, though I was using my very best diction and
ennunciating very clearly. Yeah, as those things go, I had
reason to be upset when I finally got an email telling me that
my package had indeed been delivered….to my old address.
Now, I had a choice at that moment in frustrated, linear time.
I could see the blessing in that my old address was less than
a mile from my new address…..or I could focus on the fact that
I was just getting over a head cold, the package I would have to
drive over and get at my old house was very bulky for one person
to carry and weighed 55 pounds and it was raining.
Well, I focused on the reality that bothered me and ended up
pitching what can only be called a hissy fit. If this is a new term
to you, it is familiar from my southern roots and describes a
person who gets all bent out of shape over nothing, to the point
that they almost foam at the mouth. Pitching a hissy fit.
The brutal truth (and I’ve always been brutally honest with
myself once I see the truth) is that it wasn’t even that I was
not feeling well, or that I didn’t want to get out in the rain, or
that the bursitis in my elbow would make it painful for me to
lift that heavy package and get it in my car. It wasn’t really
any of those facts that triggered my descent into mad-ness
as in angerville.
I was mad because of expectation. Things were not like
they “should” be. You order something and get fed-ex
to ship it and it should arrive on time, at the right location.
I was resentful about reality not matching my expectations.
This brings me back to my bursitis….if you read my other
posts on this challenge, you will remember me talking about
the spiritual significance of bursitis. In my case, I tracked it
down to resentment. Interesting, isn’t it.
And if I look at that situation again, in view of this latest
challenge, I see that the core of the resentment in both
cases, was reality not matching my expectations.
I tried to call federal express and personally apologize
to both the customer representatives and the dispatch
driver, on whose voicemail I left a venomous message.
Both times, I got the “I’m sorry, I don’t understand you”
message and then a busy signal.
This tells me that I’m not really apologizing for the right
reason, or I’d have been able to get through. They don’t
understand me……
Also, this tells me that I’m being insensitive to their needs,
literally. This time, a few days before Christmas, has got
to be the most difficult time for fed-ex employees to get
through and I made it worse by not responding in a rational,
calm way.
I send an energetic apology to all that I offended with my
behavior but will not try to call again because I realize
that is just to soothe my own conscience and would
just add one more phone call to their already over-loaded
lines.
OK, so spiritually speaking, my lessons right now are
very much about resentment and expectation. and
not expressing my needs in a way that can be
understood. Oh yes, and also, looking at selfish
motives underneath apologetic tone.
Not much to work on, eh? Merry Christmas
to me.