Medicine Dream about Going Home Again
Related: What are “Medicine Dreams?”
by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted
Thomas Wolfe said you can’t go home again Well, you can’t go home again the same way, and sometimes if you go home, you can’t get back
I had a dream a few nights ago. I was back at my old home, where I lived for seven years and worked as a healing facilitator pretty much full time. I lived on beautiful land, surrounded by mountains. On this land was one of the most beautiful creeks I’ve ever seen.
Setting of my healing dream:
In this dream, I found myself back at the house where I lived for seven years. Looking back now, it was never really my home. It was where I lived for seven years.
There was some kind of spiritual gathering going on. I was in the midst of that when I realized that I had not even visited the creek yet. It was always my favorite place to be so I didn’t want to miss it. I started down through the pasture, noticing the vivid fall colors…goldenrod, sumac, other orange-leafed plants….and thought, I forgot how beautiful the pasture is in the fall.
It was starting to get dark. I saw the entrance to the creek but it was black beyond it. I could not see or hear the water.
I tried to go through the entrance but it became narrow and very dark and a little scary. I tried to crawl through and felt something alive, like an animal, brush past my thigh. I decided to turn back and go back to the house. However, it was completely dark now and I was afraid I could never find my way back. That’s when I woke.
I’ve shared a good bit on my website about a Sacred Initiation that proceeded to tear down this entire existance….the home, the creek, the healing practice, the soulmate relationship….
I’ve also shared about what has come out of that, and the healing services I’m now in position to begin offering again as a spiritual being….
This was a strong medicine dream for me with a serious spiritual message. The dream indicates that, in some way, I am still trying to go back.
Over time, I have healed from the horrific pain of losing the person I feel is my soulmate, and knowing that it isn’t the first time I’ve lost him but that we’ve tried before in other lives and could not stay together then either. That pain has gone from my heart; yet, the pain of losing my spiritual center is still with me.
I don’t mean “center” as in place of doing practice. I mean inside me….MY spiritual center.
There is part of me that wants the comfort zone back. During that seven years, I grew into a solid, dependable healing facilitator. I was limited in what I could do as a healer because I had become comfortable with what I knew. That’s spiritual death for a healing facilitator. There should always be growth and opening to new levels of knowing.
Nowadays, I sit with more knowing than I want sometimes.
This dream is a very strong one and I’m sure has much more to teach me than I’ve seen so far but it definitely is a reminder that I can’t go back.
It’s funny because I remember one of the last times I sat by my beloved creek before leaving my home and my life at that time. The Spirit of the Creek told me that it was in me. That it would always be in me. That I didn’t need to come back to feel that.
What the creek didn’t tell me was that attempting to come back, to feel that, might even be dangerous and lead to a darkness (depression) that could derail my progress.
I’m grateful for the dream, and the creek.