On healing the trauma of abuse on other than physical levels
Related: Reclaiming yourself from incest
by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted
Today, I drove past a house. It was a house I lived in, over 40 years ago. Amazing that it still stands because it was not built well and not in good shape even 4 decades ago.
I lived some of the most painful and miserable times of my life in that little house and it still stands there, in my neighborhood….just down the road. Even though I very frequently drive past this house, I don’t often look at it…I don’t often dwell on living there because it always seems to bring back too much pain.
As I passed today, and noticed that someone lives there….a family lives there, I wondered if it was still hell there….I wondered if that family was as dysfunctional as my own had been.
Then, I realized something profound. I realized that it might be less a hell for whoever lived there if my hell were gone from there. It wasn’t gone, at an energetic level, because it still triggered me and the memories from the past got activated when I saw it.
I could have run off the road in shock as this came to me but I just kept driving as if nothing had happened. I realized that my memories of that time were keeping something alive there, energetically connected to the very walls and floors I walked on; the very rooms I wept in and cowered in and seldom slept well in, so afraid.
The cold winter days that stretched out into cold winter nights with nothing in either realm but fear and nameless, hopeless dread of upheaval, chaos or unspeakable violation. I never thought life would be different then, had no reason to think it. I believed this was life; this pain, this darkness, this constant dampening of any kind of joy.
As I saw the energetic connection between me and this building, I began to release my memories from the house itself. I removed my memory from that place and cleansed it and released it to the universe.
Now, whoever lives there may still choose hell but it won’t be mingled with any of mine.
I had always heard about blessing homes and cleansing evil spirits from haunted places but I never heard anyone address the energetic residue of abuse in a home from people who lived there before. Not ghosts but energetic residue that was tangibly still attached through memory.
The other side of that was that I reclaimed more of my own energy too. As I released my pain and trauma, that had sort of gotten crammed into that place and that time in my life, I also regained energy to move forward and live more fully.
I think I’m going to spend some time clearing my energy from other places I’ve lived. I know where I will start….where I ended my 7-year spiritual partnership. Those last three weeks were so horrible….I want that gone from the bed, the walls, the windows, the floor.
And there are other places I spent time in pain or trauma. I’m calling myself back from those places too….cleansing myself out of the carpet, and paneling, and ceiling. Taking myself back, every cell, and bringing myself here, now. I want all of me here, now, and in the place. In this place I am at peace and I am healed. In this place, I AM.