The Nature of Self-Sabotage

Is the word against us? Are co-dependent people sucking our energy? Or are we caught in a web of self-sabotage?

Except for any noted source material, content copyright, Neva. J. Howell, all rights reserved

I saw myself last night
In the wee hours
As I lay there, mind ablaze.

It was one of those nights….mind in control
Worry-worming the events of the day and the future.

I saw myself….

All through the long hard night,
I kept trying to shut my mind off….
I was feeling, quite literally, like a caged animal…
Then it was as if i saw myself …..

It was as if i saw that I, myself, had
seen the cage, walked into it, turned around,
locked the door and handed someone else the key.

It has never been them. It’s been me.

Self-sabotage is a sneaky little bugger
to track down and recognize. We give
our power to others in very subtle ways
that end up creating that caged, trapped,
powerless feeling in our own lives.

Self-sabotage occurs any time I feel myself
being motivated by guilt, worry, fear, the pain of others,
or the needs of others.

Does this mean I don’t help others?
No. It means that my motivation for assistance
comes from a higher place than my ego or the
rippling effect of what is often disfunctional
communication with family members.

I have often wrote that the spiritual work we
do with our family is the richest we will ever do,
and the most challenging.

What came clear to me last night was just how
much of my own struggle I create, by surrendering
the power of my inner knowing to the circumstance
I see before me….the cage of reality.

That which I blame on others is often just the result
of my own, til now unconscious, self-sabotage. Stepping
into a position that was only potential in my mind until
I treated it like fact.

There is a higher vision. I want to see myself
in that place from now on.

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