The Nature of Self Sabotage
Is the word against us? Are co-dependent people sucking our energy? Or are we caught in a web of of our own deceit?
Unless otherwise noted, all content Copyright, Neva J. Howell
I see how I sabotage my own efforts
I saw myself last night
In the wee hours
As I lay there, mind ablaze.
It was one of those nights….mind in control
Worry-worming the events of the day and the future.
I saw myself….
All through the long hard night,
I kept trying to shut my mind off….
I was feeling, quite literally, like a caged animal…
Then it was as if i saw myself …..
It was as if I saw that I, myself, had seen the cage,
walked into the cage, turned around in the cage,
locked the door and handed someone else the key.
It has never been them putting me there. It’s been me.
Self-sabotage is a sneaky little bugger to track down and recognize. We give our power to others in very subtle ways that end up creating that caged, trapped, powerless feeling in our own lives.
Self-sabotage occurs any time I feel myself being motivated by guilt, worry, fear, the pain of others, or the needs of others.
Does this mean I don’t help others?
No. It means that my motivation for assistance comes from a higher place than my ego or the rippling effect of what is often dysfunctional communication with family members.
I have often wrote that the spiritual work we do with our family is the richest we will ever do, and the most challenging.
What came clear to me last night was just how much of my own struggle I create, by surrendering the power of my inner knowing to the circumstance I see before me….the cage of reality.
That which I blame on others is often just the result of my own, til now unconscious, self-sabotage. Stepping into a position that was only potential in my mind until I treated it like fact.
There is a higher vision. I want to see myself in that place from now on.