The Paradox of Spiritual Awakening

The Paradox of Spiritual Awakening – Discovering when the ego self is in charge or struggling to be in charge of our path







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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

Who is on first?

I have spent the past month wandering through a maze of self-inflicted struggle. I wrote about this in my diary yesterday…..

In conversations with friends who are likewise on a conscious path of spiritual awakening and staying awake on the path, I hear echos of my own struggles. For example, one friend says that, even as she attempts to anchor newfound frequencies of joy within herself, she discovers all kinds of contradictions and resistence to that happening. I know how she feels. Then, this morning, I get an email from another friend, Cathy Haven Howard at Heartwood Sanctuary.

Here is part of what Cathy wrote:
So at one moment I can feel the deepness of participating with millions of people across the planet in learning new skills over the internet, and then in the next moment I can find myself screaming at the computer for the three weeks of not being able to send or receive emails out of my in box. I hear Echart Tolle’s voice saying the ego is the part of us that gets upset and complains. The ego yells back, “What do you mean, I am not upset. I am not complaining.” And then you breathe and you get to start all over again.

Aho and amen, Cathy. Thanks for sharing that. I missed the Echart Tolle show when he was on Oprah but keep hearing from friends little tidbits of wisdom from it. So nice to have that passed along.

The Paradox of Spiritual Awakening for me is much the same……so strange to be uplifted to blissful heights in one moment and to be crashing down around petty ego needs the next…..I tend to think the stronger the shift toward transformation, the stronger may be the roller coaster ride of adjustment.

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