Changing horses in mid-life stream

Changing horses in mid-life stream

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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

Update, 2018: How bizarre to find this page and realize I’ve come full circle to the same question again. I went away from what I was doing, only to find myself back here again, working on websites and blogs and wondering what do if I don’t do this? I guess I’m not quite finished with this idea.

What would you do, if you didn’t do what you are doing now?

My work has been in writing, researching and promoting wellness and health online for a while now. There are things I love about the internet. I love being able to connect with people from all around the world. I love being able to share health information and spiritual information that has helped me and that I hope will help others as well. I love being able to find directions to any place I need to go and information on any subject about which I need to know more.

Those are my personal internet joys. Where I am getting bogged down and burned out, however, is in the endless process of also running an internet business and trying to secure organic search in an environment where massive budgets are needed before even moderate success is typically experienced online.

The “business” end of working online, and in particular the incredibly and increasingly complicated search engine rules and spammy site competition, over the past 10 years has taken a toll on the pleasure and fulfillment I get from sharing and connecting. I’ve began to feel that my soul may be calling me in a different direction now.

Trouble is….
What do I do if I don’t do what I am doing now?

After hours of tedious submissions to directories this morning….directories that may take months to even review my submission and, then, may still reject the site, I pondered why I’m still choosing to create income with an online business.

Given the amount of income versus the time I spend each day doing what feels like the most tedious work in the world….promotion and website optimization… is an even better question to be asking myself.

What does my soul most want to do, with the hours of tomorrow…the rest of today….the rest of my tomorrows?

I am getting a clear idea that the answer may not be: Sit at a computer all day long and type.

But what do I do, if I don’t do what I’m doing now?

I had a project manager at a previous job, decades ago, say to me that the hardest thing to do is change what you’re doing now.

That sentence kind of seared itself into my mind then but I didn’t know how to change what I was doing then. I have learned to change many things in my life and yet, still find myself back at that place of familiar vs. the unknown.

If I woke up tomorrow and did not go online, what would I do with my day? More important, vastly more important, is my second question:

What does my soul find joyful to do that would also create abundance and prosperity in my life?

Joyful employment….sounds like a paradox, doesn’t it?

Eckhart Tolle asks it this way: What does my soul most want to birth?

A joyful birth…sounds like a paradox, doesn’t it? Oh, sure, the birth of a new baby is joyful when it’s over but during the birth… So, I am here in labor this morning, or beginning to feel the first pangs of labor.

What do you do if you don’t do what you are doing now? It appears the first step to my answer is to ask the question. This I have done.

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