Letting go and Letting God – I think I finally get it
by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted
When the chickens come home to roost, literally – forced into a corner by own patterns of ego-based creation
I found out this morning that the construction sounds I’ve been hearing for months at my new and lovely healing center are the result of someone clearing land for the building of three huge chicken houses. These will be less than a mile from my home.
To some, that may elicit a “so what?”.
To others who, like myself, are extremely sensitive to odors, you will know the feelings I could have dropped into when I found out. They are not pretty feelings.
Surprisingly, that didn’t happen. Rather than rage or hopelessness or helplessness or depression, I just came straight home and called my real estate agent.
In talking with my wonderful friend and fellow retired spiritual warrioress Susan Grace, I made a statement that she caught hold of and gave back to me. It resonated strongly and when I looked at it again, I saw that it held great truth.
It went something like this……
“Now that I’ve let go of the dream of creating the healing center, doing classes, living here, maybe now God can use me.”
Oh, glory, glory, glory.
What freedom there was in the recognition of how very much I had sought to control my life. I had these ideas that had already congealed into plans.
Susan has often quoted a particular statement which, I think, is either from the Course in Miracles or Eckhart Tolle:
“A healed mind does not plan”
This bespeaks a degree of walking by faith that I have not embodied til today. It literally means that I walk in the moment and follow right action in the moment….not in tomorrow’s moments or even the next hour’s moments. Right now is all that is. Why do we insist on planning for things that may change, probably will shift and change, many times before they unfolds in God’s perfection?
In the moment that I realized that my environment here might radically change in the next year, I also realized how attached I had become to a certain vision of what living here for the rest of my life had looked like to me from my planning mind.
I already saw myself giving Accelerated Alignment Training and offering Healing Retreats. I planned it all out and put it on the website. Now, it may be that none of that happens or, if it does happen, happens here. Update: Some of that did happen at the center and, looking back, I realize that the few who came were meant to come and to come there. It was all used to the good.
I saw, in an instant, how very restricted my view of my future has been….not just now, but all my life. I saw how anything short of complete spiritual surrender would keep me captive to my planning mind instead of allowing me to embody my healed mind.
My prayer this day is that this awareness will be so grounded in me as to be unshakable.