It Was the best of times, it was the worst of times….
by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted
Spiritual Lessons that don’t lead to blissing out
I spent two of the most frustrating, miserable weeks in New Mexico. I also had moments of wonderful, delicious healing. And the long, long, LONG trip back home to Alabama helped me understand and integrate the parts that were far from blissful.
I suppose I’ll be posting about the hot springs spas in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico as I took time to go around to a lot of them and find out the differences.
However, my trip turned out to be about a harsh awakening concerning masks…..
Everyone wears masks at some time or another…they help us cope. We may behave differently with family than with business friends, for example. I used to think social masking was ok. I can’t think that way anymore, not after Truth or Consequences.
I don’t know if it was the particular properties of the healing hot springs there or if it was just time for me to get this on a cellular level but I instantly, and I assume irrevocably, saw the harm that masking does.
It creates separation. Sometimes that’s exactly what we want it to do, isn’t it? I saw people like masks standing, with an emptiness behind them …. a vast emptiness. If they will not connect, there is no connection to be made.
Then, looking in the eyes of a total stranger, I saw myself. I did not like what I saw. Since then, I’ve tried to be authentic and have discovered how seldom that happens to a full degree. I order my meal at the restaurant, and then I realize…..I didn’t really SEE her, the waitress taking my order. Not really.
I am wearing my customer mask; she is wearing her waitress mask. It really is just two masks completing a transaction. She may as well have been a vending machine. I may as well have been an ATM.
I wasn’t really totally present to the moment.
The scene repeats when I fill my car with gas and go in to pay. Other customers stand in line, wearing their customer masks. The checkout cashier wears his cashier mask. We transact.
That’s the big lesson I took away from Truth or Consequences. It is not a place I think I ever want to visit again. I can’t even say I am happy I went. I would have preferred to get this lesson more gently.
However, it is what it is and whatever the means, I did get it.
Now I just have to walk it.
Home again, home again. Jiggity Jig.