Testy Individuals just sittin’ around talkin’
The Testy Festy Tie-In
Copyright, Neva J. Howell
Comments about the journey: I got this email today and wanted to share it, minus any personal details, because I know so many are going thru similar feelings.
I am going through a lot of struggles in my life right now and i got on the Internet and searched for something. I wouldn’t say that i was necessarily was searching for an answer because i had yet to form a question.
I google searched spiritual walk for women and about four websites down was yours. your timing was impeccable. I recently moved from the place I have called home for years that Inever felt was a home. Neither was the city that i grew up in for that matter and that sense of home searching is stronger than ever.
Amongst the findings in a recent self evaluation that I noted I found that I was a very testy individual and for why I do not know. I felt owed, owed by the very people that I tell that I support. (I think the writer meant owned, not owed … and it’s an interesting typo to make)
How is that possible.
Maybe it was the lack of appreciation that I felt but then again who am I to set someone else’s basis for showing appreciation? why did i feel obligated to deserve a praising. Is the minute granule speck of the lord that resides in me really better me than anyone? Absolutely not! But yet I let negative energy rule my world.
It was always much easier to just give to the force that does not put up a struggle but like they say anything worth having is worth fighting for and i am now convinced that the first fight shouldn’t be for a house or a car or anything materialistic but instead for myself for my freedom from mental shackles of the idiocracy displayed on the idiot tube and in other negatively affected lives surrounding me.
I can go on forever but I really i wanted to personally request a copy of your book.
I can sense in your words that i can stand to learn a lot from you and i am tuning in so please teach. I need to know that i am not alone…never alone and that i can be happy by myself, with others and i can be myself without worrying of judgement on a earthly level or living to their expectations.
My life is meant to serve one and I want to know the path to serving positively and in a productive manner.
Healing Facilitation Response:
It may come as a surprise to you to know that many, many people feel as you do or have felt as you do, myself included.
There are so many right now who are letting go of “things” and moving toward purpose in a way that is frightening and liberating at the same time, that I can’t even count them.
You most certainly are not alone.
I was also a “testy individual”. Still am at times.
It’s funny but last night I watched a bizarre show on the “Testy Festy”. It’s a festival, held annually, where the main food served is cow testicles. I do have a point with this, actually.
Testy individuals are supported in our world by the consumption of and steroid-laden meats, from animals killed at the height of a fight or flight reflex. The way animals are treated, the diet they are fed, the way they are forced to live out their lives as stock and the act of pumping their system full of adrenalin at the point of death leaves toxic meat.
It gets a little physics-y here … if you believe in the pull of morphic fields, there is a huge morphic field around slaughter. And when you add the morphic field of money into the mix, it’s not surprising that the world is an increasingly agressive, testy place to live. Oh, lord, I know this is sounding like a rant. Anyway, my point is that you are not just feeling your testy emotions; there’s a big huge pool of that on earth and we wade in it all the time.
The really good news is that there is a growing pool of light, love, cosmic play and harmonious flow that is filtering into that other morphic field, playing with it and dancing in it, and a miracle of transformation is occuring because of that holy play and dance.
Now, when you were talking about wanting praise, I wanted someone to believe me enough to actually follow through with the wellness guidance I was giving them. It was good, sound guidance and I stayed in a state of perpetual testyness when it seemed to be repeatedly ignored. I felt like I was literally wasting my breath and my time.
However, I now realize that each soul has it’s own pace of transformation that cannot be rushed, forced or tampered with, without consequence. It had nothing to do with me, really. Nothing at all. Whether they listened and acted differently because of my guidance. It was all about them and their path. Still, I felt pissed.
Then, somewhere along the way, I realized that was very much about me and what did that say? It said I was looking outside myself for purpose and also that I wasn’t really giving anything, I was doing something in hopes of a return (better health for the person I was counseling, for example). That’s a whole different vibration than giving for the sake of giving.
ps. You are correct when you say that speck of the Lord in you is no better than the speck in anyone else. There’s only one speck. We’re all in this together.
I’ve enclosed the ebook. I’ll be sharing our conversation on my blog, minus any personal information, because it is my purpose to spread the word about awakening.