If I died today

If I died today, that would be ok

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by Neva J. Howell

Finally feeling good about life lived so far

I was driving back to the housesit I’m doing up in the mountains of Tennessee, after having Christmas with my family. It was a sweet day, full of smiles, hugs, a lot of I love yous and great food.

As I was driving, I became hypersensitive to the holographic nature of the road and this earth. I’ve been hyper-aware of this illusion before. This time, I was filled with a sort of profound and sacred peace.

I was ok with my life. If it ended right then, I was ok with it. If I died today, that would alright.

This is profound because I’m one of the many, many, many who have spent most of their lives convinced that the had some deep and driving purpose for being here and that, if they did not fulfill that purpose, it would not be so good at a soul level.

Today, perhaps for the first time, I felt ok with it all. If I had a purpose then what I’ve done with my life must have been that purpose. I know that because I’ve always done the very best I could to stay aligned with the God of my knowing.

If I died today, I’d want those who love me to know that I am ok with it all. In fact, it has been perfect.

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