Spiritual Medicine from the Creepy-Crawlies
Suggested Reading: Frog as a Totem in Dreams
I spent hours yesterday waiting to spray a yellow jacket nest that had been built in the bathroom fan vent. They were coming out into the bathroom.
Early into this experience, I realized that it was non-human teacher medicine. I’ve been learning from four-leggeds, winged ones and creepy-crawlies for decades and have come to respect that any significant encounter with a non-human teacher is an opportunity to discover more about my current state of being.
As I waited (for about an hour) for all the yellow jackets to return to the next, I noticed how hard they all were working. I watched them frantically going back and forth, feeding the queen, and witnessed the aggression and angry vibe of that. I witnessed the almost desperate feel of trying to get as much nutrition back to the nest as possible before sunset.
As I waited for all of them to come back to the nest, I recalled that for me, wasps and other bees have always appeared whenever there was suppressed anger or resentment of other such vibration in me. These creepie-crawlies show us where we need to resolve resentment of others or about aspects of our lives, sometimes even resentment against God that we haven’t recognized we hold. Watching what we’re angry about, sometimes irrationally and sometimes expressing in inappropriate ways, can be helpful whenever wasps appear as non-human teachers.
A vibratory match was made. Energetic bandwidths of vibration in me drew something that could sting and that could point out where I had been stinging others out of fear or resentment or guilt or shame or any other dense vibration of that bandwidth.
I instinctively knew i was getting ready to extinquish a huge chunk of my own resentments, aggressive behavior based in fear, and feeding the queen of my own survival monkey mind.
What was most amazing to me was that, even after I sprayed the nest, and it was toxic, those yellow jackets who were still outside gathering food went in anyway, with obvious difficulty but determination, straight through the poison and into the poisoned nest.
How many times have I done that very thing, returning to a toxic situation or relationship, in the illusion salvaging something from the poison or changing it somehow into something good? How often have I gone back into a situation I damn well knew was toxic, because it was familiar or because I didn’t think I had another choice?
What a blessing to see that I AM at the level of consciousness that has shifted out of that paradigm.
I was saying a whole lot of I’m sorry, Forgive me, Thank you and I love you while I drove these angry creepie-crawlies out of my space. I was making observations of how their being there triggered anger that led me to seeing where I felt unsafe and imposed upon in other areas of my life. I was choosing to let go of some of that pattern.