Choosing to Un-Awake Myself?

Jeff Probst as God
Related: Taking on the pain of others

Healthy Choices Privacy Policy
Healthy Choices Disclaimer

by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

A Dangerous Spiritual Impass or Par for the Course?

Ever feel like God is Jeff Probst, you are being voted off Survivor and he’s saying “I got nothin’ for ya.”?

That’s how I felt this afternoon. No need to go into details that brought me to a sobbing mess, sitting in my car in front of Unity church. What is important to me to note is the difference between this and oh, oh, so, so, many melt-downs of a spiritual nature.

Since my spiritual awakening back in 1988, I’ve been melting-down more or less continually, though some ego deaths were quite more prominent than others. I guess it’s the path of most to awaken, then suddenly realize nothing significant changed. It’s the old “chop wood, carry water” story. The third dimension and it’s laws have a way of helping us forget that we ever stood on the mountaintop, feeling the breath of God on our cheeks.

What happened today felt different. It was the first time that I consciously had these thoughts…..

“We might not make it. Spiritual awakening on a global scope may be just yet another dream of the asleep, albeit the asleep who are sure they are awake.”

“I could just go back to sleep. I could stay spiritually asleep for the remainder of this incarnation.”

“I could let my mind keep me distracted with a job, projects, creating wealth, dreams, etc. for the rest of this incarnation.”

The reason I had these thoughts today was because, for the first time since I woke up to notice some kind of parallel reality running right next to my 3-d experience and seeming both as close as my skin and as distant as Mars, I felt we, as a species, might not ever make it. By “it” I mean shifting into the 5th dimension en mass as a species and embodying the Divine Light within the human form in a consistent way.

Personally, I felt I might live the rest of this incarnation painfully aware of that parallel existence of flow, grace, joy, ease, peace and love and yet, unable to fully embody it. So, just being honest here …. if my posts start to be about hobbies and crafts and setting goals and fulfilling dreams …. I might be asleep again. If so, don’t wake me. It will probably have been a conscious decision.

Leave a Reply