Letting it all go

The Gypsy Spirit or The Irish In Me
Related reading: Spiritual Surrender

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Letting it all go

I saw an image of myself putting what I could in my car and just going from town to town, alert for a moment to share a spark of joy, compassion, light.

Something keeps asking me to pare down, pare down, pare down possessions. I hardly have any now and yet the biggest “need” persists … a roof over the head, a bed to sleep in, a door to close against the night and, odd in such a mix but strong, a computer with internet connection.

The need of these physical things still guides my decisions from the head and overpowers the gypsy call of the heart to let it all go and let something completely unprogrammed occur.

I suppose this could be the supreme purpose for which I am here, to let it all go. Not sure I’m equal to the task. I’ve learned that halfway letting go creates a rather extreme form of spiritual torture and outpictures in the physical in a lot of small tortures as well.

Then I look at my geneology, the DNA stranded from my ancestors into my body. Irish, strong, strong, strong in the field. As I read about the Irish famine and how it progressed, how the people were squeezed tighter and tighter, became more and more destitute, and then finally, had nothing at all and were shipped out to a foreign land with the clothes on their back.

Is it my Irish DNA that keeps squeezing me into less and less material security? Part of my spiritual awakening has involved finding those places of woundedness that may trigger me unconscioulsy toward a path that no longer serves me or others. It’s possible that my soul is calling me to clear yet another layer of history and redefine myself at a cellular level.

Or is it the call of my soul to let it all go, to expand enough to have nothing and allow everything? Is it God saying to me that the only way I’ll know I can trust is to have nothing to fall back on, no illusion of security at all. It seems so radical. Yet, I know people who have walked away from every material possession. It was apparently a soul move on their part and put them in alignment with a new life.

I don’t know. That’s the hell of it. I just don’t know.