It isn’t mine

Everything you feel isn’t yours

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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

Someone’s at the Door

Something edged in on my peace today, I felt it hit the field. If you remember that old scary show called “American Gothic” it reminded me of Sarah Paulson sitting in the middle of the floor, rocking. She kept repeating, with southern accent … “summons atda doh, summons atda doh, summons atda doh.” It was so eerie. That’s kinda how this felt, like hearing a rat, tat, tat at the door of consciousness.

At first, I thought “what’s wrong with me? where am I out of balance?” Then I sensed … oh, not me. Not mine. Breathe. Clear. Reset. I am learning when I am fine and then, out of the blue, not fine … check in. It’s probably not mine. People with agendas press into our energetic fields all day long, and they don’t have be anywhere near us to do it. Thought travels.

This “breathe, clear, reset” choice works for me and as a Human Design Generator 6/3 I’m all about finding out what works and doesn’t work.

And, believe it or not, it SO ain’t about thinking… it’s about awareness in the moment and sensing. pure sensing. and letting whatever words come, come from that. The brain may fry but the soul gets it. I think as little as possible. It was me thinking that was asking “what’s wrong with me?” Oh, how the mind loves that little question. Can run with it for hours and hours.

I can dig that other aspects of I AM are dancing with me all the time in this little blue ball … and … the dance I want to create is conscious and specific so my immediate field resonance is important to maintain. This helps me align with birds of common feather, or in this case, thoughts of common feather.

It was an absent-mindedness of the Spirit, similar to the absence of awareness that might result, in a physical sense, with me running into the edge of a table. Had I been mindful, I’d have seen the edge and could have chosen differently. For me, there is never anyone else to fix or block or change; it’s for me to notice what I am allowing into my energy field and thought patterns that may not be in alignment with my vision for that moment.

If summons atda doh, they may knock but I will not necessarily answer. Being open to the gifts of empathy doesn’t mean I have to let every vagrant thought or emotion seeking connection to enter the space of me. Most of it is just floating through and for someone else to process or deal with on their own. I have stopped being a garbage collector. I’ve got enough of my own garbage thoughts and emotions to deal with every day. You take yours to the dump and I’ll do the same.

ps. I love Sarah Paulson! I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in anything where I didn’t enjoy and believe her character. Most recently, I thought she did a bang up job as Marcia Clark in that tv show about the O.J. Simpson trial. While Sarah Paulson knocked it out of the park, there was just no way for Cuba Gooding Jr. to do the same. He did not work, on any level, for the role of O.J. and it’s one of those casting decisions I may never get.

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