Paranoid or Over-Stimulated?

Just cause I’m paranoid, that don’t mean ain’t nobody after me

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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

Human Design Generator on Paranoia

For me, paranoia is a sensation I when I’ve ignored my gut reaction (sacral authority) to the point that everything looks weird. If I trust my sacral, moment to moment, this sensation doesn’t happen and I’m not jumping at everything that moves, so to speak. I have laser focus on where the point of misalignment is in my world and can make instant adjustment to a more positive result. Even paranoia, I guess it’s a good teacher. In my case, it tells me I’ve been ignoring my the instincts of my own Human Design until they are over-stimulated. Before that, there’s only clear discernment.

That over-stimulation starts to make my world look like something I need to be afraid of; it creates a sense of paranoia. And in a sense, it’s true. When I let distractions and the agenda of others get in the way or recognizing my own clear and instantaneous instinctual knowing, my world does become less safe for me.

Sometimes it ain’t my feelings or thoughts that tip the paranoia scale:
If I start feeling paranoid or edgy, I often find I have been caught unawares in new situations and have started listening through other centers besides my sacral. This is deeply important for me as a 6/3 Human Design Generator with open head, heart and root.

So much of what I feel and think comes from those around me. If I allow those thoughts and feelings in, I’m suddenly of the opinion that they are my thoughts and feelings and then I try to react to them from those centers. The only center in my body that I should pay the least attention to is my sacral.

A Great Example:
My gas tank was on empty. I stopped at a local station. When I walked in the door, I was literally hit with the energy of hurry, rush, I wanta get out of here! My eyes met the eyes of a woman who was about 4th or 5th in a line that stretched the length of the aisle. The moment I met her eyes, I felt irritation, frustration and a strong need to shove the line forward and push her way out the door.

As I looked back behind the lady, at the huge line, as soon as I felt that energy, it stopped me in my tracks. I even staggered a little inside the door but stepped in a few steps on automatic pilot. Those two steps landed me right smack in the middle of a lot of other people’s emotional states. They were all over me.

Instead of listening for my own sacral response, which might have said yes to staying for some reason I’ll never know, I started feeling and thinking all over the place and the intensity of those feelings and thoughts backed me straight out the door and on toward what could have been a very frustrating delay to find gas elsewhere. I responded to thoughts and feelings, NOT my sacral.

I will give myself credit for catching what had happened almost by the time I got back on the road. I was able to ease into an acceptance, make an adjustment and ask for sacral direction which created an impromptu lunch with a friend on the way to the gas station. Yes, there was delay and frustration but also, there was a nice adjustment and experience afterwards.

Oh, and I also saved 10 cents a gallon on gas! This would not have been true if I’d logically turned left to nearest gas station when I left the one with the long line. There was another one right there but I went right and several miles further. I had already started to adjust toward sacral response by the time I left.

If my sacral has a strong reaction, there is something out of alignment in my field. However, if it’s a deluge of feelings or thoughts, it’s probably not even me and the thing to do is ask for sacral authority to weigh in. I’m learning.

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