No just means Next

#acting #actor #speakingup

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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

Speaking up as an actor

I had an awesome soul evolution moment just now. I spoke up for myself as an actor. Only another actor may appreciate how hard speaking up can be in this business.

If I had accepted the terms as they were extended to me, I’d almost be paying for the opportunity to act. I very directly stated what I required to say yes. My terms were met with not just no, but “no way”.

This “no” came from the person representing me, not the client wanting me for a call-back. In other words, my representative would not present my terms to the client.

I said “that’s fine” without rancor. No judgment, or emotional charge because none of the people involved saw me, not really. So I said “that’s fine” and meant it. Lovely moment. Then I said to the universe, next. I think I first learned to simply shift and say next, from Sunshine Johnson. It came in handy today, Julie .

I may never have the acting career I once dreamed of but I will be treated as a professional worthy of my time or I’ll pass on the opportunity. I’m ok with that, at last. I can’t lose anything that is worth having by standing up for what I feel is fair and appropriate. I can only let go of things that would not be a win/win and an experience of grace and ease.

This also is illuminating who is in my corner and who is not. I’m noticing that some people go to bat for me, they pull for me, they believe in me. There is a gravitational pull happening, drawing me closer to the people who see me, who get me, who want me to thrive. There is additionally an invitation to those who may not have seen me in the past, to see me differently now and interact with me in a different way.

I’m excited because I know that the change in my vibrational reality will outpicture in my atmosphere soon. I will meet new people and new opportunities, based on how I have decided I will live. It’s a tender time and fraught with potential pitfalls of consciousness but also an exhilarating time of self-recovery and discovery.

Update: I’m learning that how I show up has a lot to do with how I’m treated. If I have this feeling that I am not going to be seen or respected (and in truth, that is some of the history of my experience in the film and television industry) then I tend to draw those types of experiences and the people who mirror that for me into my life. I’m slowly noticing that my own decision to require being seen and respected is starting to change the way those in my support team are responding as well.

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