by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted
That time I did nothing and it meant everything
This New Year’s Eve, I find myself thinking about spiritual surrender, acceptance, embracing what is, etc.
My mind sorts through all those teachings that I’ve had to spiral back around to over and over, learning on deeper and deeper levels that what the ego aspects of me keep fighting for or against do not matter.
Recognizing the holographic nature of 3d experience doesn’t make it seem any less real to me.
I rail against the machine quite regularly, even while I know there is no machine outside of my recognition of it.
Yes, my hair is hurting now.
This year, I begin once more with a resolution of sorts … let me let go and let God this year.
Let me surrender what I think or feel and trust in what the I AM of me knows for sure.
The last time I did that, it changed my life.
That time, I did something different – nothing. Instead of raising back up to do battle, I simply recognized that I owned that situation. I might never have seen that it was mine except that there was nothing left to try and no one left to blame.
I reached the point of surrender due to exhaustion. When one has no energy to resist or invent or divert or fight, the still point of consciousness rises. It only takes a moment and yet the moment is so hard to reach.
That time, when I had no fight left, I let go. I surrendered. And everything changed for the better. My mind cleared, direction appeared, and my life started to join the dance again.
I find that I’ve been grasping again, looking, trying to make something happen, searching for answers outside myself again. It’s time to let go once more and, this time, I wanta do it this side of exhaustion. I want to do it full force, invigorated and calm. I want to choose surrender.