Being whipped about by awareness

Can’t seem to leave the roof for long

#humandesign #6/3generator #humandesigngenerator #offtheroof






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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

I grow weary

I went to a funeral yesterday and, as best I could, offered support to those left behind. The passing was a tragic, shocking one and the aftermath understandably full of deep grief and incomprehension.

Today, I struggle with our world and by that I mean the whole thing: politics, religion, the work for pay structure, the massive imbalance of power and wealth, the whole concept of money, the food contamination, the air and water pollution, the emotional and mental stress so many endure on a daily basis from not having enough money to care for their family, the proliferation of nuclear plants with toxic waste we can neither safely store or ever dispose of without harm.

I struggle with the myriad ways we seem, as a species, to be trying to kill ourselves.

I know resistance is not the way to transformation; in fact, resisting what is will only serve to make it stronger. Yet, it is hard not to rail at a universe where so much seems so hard for so many. I want to be like that Generator Ra speaks of, who stands up on the roof and yells down to everyone “Get away from me.”

There’s a part of my human design chart (Get Your Free Human Design Chart), as a 6/3 Generator with sacral authority, which contains optimism to balance the pessimistic view I can easily adopt. However, at times, this just feels like an all good/all bad roller coaster of manipulation just keeps landing me at the place where I look around and ask again, what the hell are we all doing? What are we doing, to our planet, to ourselves?

I am 60 years old. As a 6/3 Generator, I “should” be well into my role model time of life. I am supposed to tell everyone what doesn’t work. If I did that today, I’d say nothing works. I know it is time for my life to change. I know that I have been in a sort of self-imposed exile from life since 2001. In Human Design, folks might say “She’s a generator who can’t get down off the roof and into the world”. How it translates for me is this energetic awareness that it’s crazy out there. I don’t understand the world we live in, well that all of you live in.

Ra pleaded for other profiles and human design types to support 6/3 Generators but not to “give the martyr his due”. I get it. I definitely feel “woe is me” but that’s not the place I’m coming from. The personal sense of suffering is rather a side note from my ego self while the bulk of me is asking the universe to help me find my way, to help me step off the roof and into the role model position I’m designed to inhabit. Lately, every response I’ve made has obviously been outside my design and motivated by others or by lower vibration frequencies like fear and doubt. I need support, universe. I need support.

PLEASE NOTE: I am not an HD expert. I am sharing my own journey of the past few years, into the 6/3 Generator Profile experience. If you have positive information to add, please contact me. I’m happy to be educated on points that are still unclear to me. If you have negative information to share, please keep it to yourself. And if you think this post is just mind games, feel very free to just move on. Thanks.

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