What Feels Heavy? Kyle Cease Question

Awesome question for this 6/3 Generator

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by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted

Kyle Ceases gives me a great question

In the human design system, my profile is 6/3 Generator, Sacral Authority, Spleen defined.

I’m a newbie and still love to respond to questions, both as a way of finding my sacral yes when I’m not sure due to mind or emotional interference and also just as a way of developing my yes muscle.

I listened to a talk that Kyle Cease made at the Moore (he was offering it for free a while back) and in that funny, entertaining session, Kyle talked about his decision to go vegan. I’ve tried several times in my life to at least go vegetarian so that caught my attention.

Kyle talked about how much lighter he felt on a vegan diet, not as heavy as before and not just in terms of weight. He said he began to look around at his life and ask “What else feels heavy?”

I got a BIG YES on answering that question in my own life and responded by asking my inner guidance what feels heavy for me. I almost immediately saw two areas that did.

One was my website Ask a Healer Wellness Library

I’ve had this website for several years. Before that, I owned the Healthy New Age Success Center which, at one time, ranked #3 on google for search terms like “alternative healing” and “natural remedies”. Then, google started changing their algorithms quite often and in drastic ways. Overnight, a website could go from #3 to oblivion in the search terms.

It’s too much power for one company to have. They literally destroy the income of countless webmasters overnight with each algorithm change that affects search results. And it has seemed, since then, that the playing around with people’s lives has accelerated. In any case, the end result has been that it has become almost impossible for most small website owners to get their sites in the search rankings.

So, I’ve spent years tweaking and working on my website, trying to appease google. Well, with this question from Kyle Cease, the heaviness of that felt like carrying a bag full of bricks up a steep hill. I decided to let go but didn’t know what that would be like.

I found out that I had a lot of resistance to just closing a website I had poured such effort into for so long. Unable to completely let it go, I turned my attention the site itself. I realized that, for years now, I’ve been trying to make it please google. What if I just pleased myself?

I’ve always prided myself on sharing what I considered good products. I read ingredient lists and chose products that I felt had superior ingredients. Yet, when I started the “what feels heavy” questioning, I realized that some of the companies I had chosen did not communicate with me. They did not support me in supporting them.

I started going through the site an taking off anything that simply did not reflect my truest values and any that I felt like did not support me in getting their product to those who might need them. I started adding more of product lines that I did feel were truly, truly superior, like the Mt. Capra products you see to your left. I used these every day and they don’t feel heavy to talk about or share.

I started reducing the number of google ads that I had on my site because they often did not reflect my values. As you can see, I still have them on the blog. I’m working through some fear and doubt about releasing that stream of income so be patient with me please.

I started narrowing down the number of products I shared to the products and companies with which I felt the most alignment. I started writing companies and getting to know them and asking questions about their product lines.

It’s a work in progress because my site and this blog are so huge but I’m noticing that this work doesn’t make me tired like the other work did. It feels lighter so that’s a step in the right direction for me.

The other area of my life that the question from Kyle illuminated is my acting work. Talk about heavy. Wow. I never admitted to myself just how heavy the film industry process for getting work had always felt. Kyle even spelled it out in his talk and, while it was funny to hear, it was also sort of heart-wrenching to the actor in me.

The journey to getting an acting job
Wait for the audition….
Tape the audition….
Wait for the callback….
Go to the callback…
Wait to get cast….
Wait to film….
Wait to see if you are actually in the film….
Wait for your check….

I realized that I never really relaxed until the money was in my hand. That’s a long time to be longing for something. From that first audition to the day I actually got paid might be a month or longer. And then it could be a month or more before the cycle repeated.

Heavy. This felt very heavy and I realized that I either had to walk away from the film industry or find a way to do it differently, in a way that felt light. I’m still working on that one.