About My Awakening Journey and Spiritual Work:
by Neva J. Howell unless otherwise noted
Unless otherwise noted, all content Copyright, Neva J. Howell
About the Author of the Wellness Blog
I AM Neva. My path of healing has been a relentless, continual journey through some pretty tough creations and co-creations of imbalance.
I came into this lifetime with what I believed to be a fairly lofty life mission, to help people heal. It is a life mission that has felt more and more like ego bait as I’ve traveled it, a soul level set-up, intended to send me thru a path that would teach me what I was NOT.
Born into an environment that was dominated by poverty, alcoholism and abuse, I nonetheless saw so much Light that it blinded me.
I couldn’t find a way to reconcile my day-to-day darkness and pain with the Light that I saw smack dab in the middle of it all. Nor did I know what to do with the imagery I saw.
The dark syrupy energy I saw inside the body when people were ill (physically, mentally or emotionally) was confusing to me and I had no idea that I could help with that kind of situation.
Because my mind couldn’t understand what it was sensing, I did what many, many children in chaotic environments do …. I shut down the part of myself that knew what was True. I stopped seeing the Light in the middle of the madness, and just accepted the madness as my life.
Light Rushes in Again
I was 28, that magical year for many spiritual beings, when the Light started pushing its way back into my vision. At first, I was horrified and did everything I could to keep it from coming back because, to have it there, meant a divided mind that might lead to insanity. If the Light existed, how could the pain and suffering have happened and continued to happen for so many years?
I distracted myself through all the common avenues of distraction youth can find, from alcohol to mild drug abuse to sex to money. All worked for a while; none worked indefinitely.
Even though I could not embrace the Light fully, I began to study healing in every way that I could find to study it. I studied herbology, aromatherapy, homeopathy, nutrition, energetic healing, reflexology and other alternative energy medicine approaches to healing.
I also looked at traditional medicine and considered training in that arena but there was just something fundamentally out of alignment with my Truth there. I had put bandaids on my own wounded heart all of my life so I recognized the futility of treating symptoms instead of cause. To me, this is what allopathic medicine mostly does….treats or controls symptoms.
A Spiritual Reawakening
During this journey of holistic education and exploration of energy medicine, I slowly begin to reawaken as a spiritual being. The vibrational frequencies associated with all the healing modalities I was studying had it’s effect on my own energy field and there came the day when forgetting who I AM was no longer an option. I awakened again to the Light and Truth of why I AM here on earth.
The Light has not been extinguished again since that time and even though I continue to have human struggles and human challenges, I have become steadfast in Higher Frequency and solid enough within Higher Awareness to offer substantial service to others on The Path.
That is my spiritual work at this time…both online and off. Online, I strive to provide health-oriented and spiritually-based information that will be genuinely of use to those who, as I did, desire to reawaken more and more to the Divinity within and align more and more to the I AM inside.
The most effective healing I have experienced in my own life happened either alone, in prayer and meditation, or in the hands of a healing facilitator who knew how to get out of the way and let the energy work.
I was being trained, even as I my mind, emotions and body were healing, because I remember being acutely aware of what the energy was doing and how the facilitators were working with it, and with me. There was almost a computer-like behavior in some part of my brain that recorded information, even while the entire rest of me was deeply involved in my own healing, releasing and restoring process.
The times that I chose healers who were ego-based and wanting a particular outcome for me, rather than waiting patiently to see what level of healing I could embrace, were the times that taught me the most.
Those healers gave me such a gift because I could feel, in my own soul and body, how counter-productive any kind of “energetic push” or preconceived opinion about what should happen was. I could feel ripples of resistance and even pain within as this outer force attempted to bring me to a place I could not yet inhabit.
It has been a primary goal of mine to avoid counter-productive energy medicine in my own practice. Although there are definitely times when releasing a painful trauma is not easy, it should never feel forced or happen before the structure is in place within the person for supporting a new paradigm.
I strive to wait patiently and let each person decide the level of healing they are willing to embrace. I strive to do this, even when I can clearly see what the obstacle or block is, and how it will increase pain and suffering for the person if not released.
I consider this patience and willingness to allow people to keep their pain, to be my biggest test of unconditional love. There have been times when I knew, absolutely knew, that keeping their pain would result in a person’s death. These are the hardest times to be patient and to allow. However, I can do no less without reducing a sovereign master to the level of a helpless child.