Laughing at my little self

Laughing at My Self
Related: What is ego bait?

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A Divine and Hilarious Moment
Laughing at my Little Self

I was lying in bed, literally on fire thinking about all the various changes and shifts that have happened in my life in the past few weeks. From my solar plexus area to my throat, I felt scorching hot and as if I might be catching a strange flu that only affected the trunk of my body. I knew it wasn’t the flu.

I was worry-worming. So much to do before leaving for my dream job and facing two other commitments which, now, were simply two too many to meet.

Worried about the added stress and disappointment that others would feel if I did not meet the two other commitments.

Worried about packing and moving and what to take and on and on and on.

I was in my mind totally, trying to figure out a way I could still do everything I had planned to do before the Omega Institute position opened for me, even though I knew it was physically impossible barring a miracle.

Then, I just started laughing at myself, my self, my ego self so stressed and worried.

I suddenly saw how easy this would have been for God to work out, if I’d just gotten myself out of the way before I was on top of the overwhelm with no linear time to spare.

I laughed and laughed as I clearly saw the little futile workings of my own mind trying to figure out how to do all that was in front of me.

I laughed so hard…..I was talking out loud to my self too.

I said things like “God parted the sea” for crying out loud…..think God can’t handle these little details?

God raised Lazarus from the dead….think organizing a few scheduling conflicts is better left in the hands of your mind?

Oh, you are too, too, too funny.

It’s important to say that I was laughing with the utmost love, sweet regard and gentle amusement at my little ego self and mind, not out of any cruel energy or judgemental place.

Oh, I was laughing at my self so hard. I had worried myself into quite a state, almost sick with it. And God was watching saying, why don’t you just let it go and let Me?

And I realized that even now, at this late date, if I could surrender to the flow, Divine Source could work this out with grace and ease.

A poem I had written in my head a few days earlier seems appropo now…..

I caught up with myself today
I caught up with myself today
and I said to me, where have you been?
and me said back, everywhere but now.
it’s good to be home.

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